Communication Styles through the Lens of the Enneagram Throughout my career, I have come to understand the power of listening to build effective leadership. Whether that was serving in a leadership role, coaching leaders, or supporting leaders through training. About five years ago, I became a certified Conversational Intelligence coach, which gave me great insight into the neuroscience of conversations – what happens in our brains when we have quality conversations or conversations that get stuck. One fundamental aspect of communication is that understanding resides with the listener. Therefore, to create shared understanding, the speaker needs to have the skills to adjust their communication style so that the listener is receiving the information with the intended meaning. It is not easy to adapt our communication style so that another person receives the information with our intended meaning. However, my recent training as an Enneagram Practitioner has introduced me to a new approach to exploring communication styles. The Enneagram is an ancient framework that examines personality through our core motivations to help explain why we are the way we are. Our core motivation drives how we engage with the world and others to meet our needs. The communication style of each leadership type is in service to the core motivation. With a deeper understanding of what is driving someone’s style, we can adjust our language to meet their needs to create a shared understanding. Credit: www.withinsight.coach Understanding the nine communication styles through the Enneagram framework provides a roadmap to adapt our auto-pilot style to align with the listener. The first step in this process is understanding your style, core motivation and how that influences your communication. With that as a foundation, you can move to understanding other styles and interpersonal communication dynamics. To learn more about the Enneagram and how it can support you as a leader, check out the Minutes with Mary Enneagram Podcast Mini-Series. Episode 20: explores the Enneagram and Communication. To begin your Enneagram journey, explore the resources and services Vista Global offers.
What it Takes to be a Solopreneur: Know your Strengths When I started my company in 2011, it was not because I had a grand vision of starting a company. It was because I wanted to continue doing what I loved doing for the previous four years in a new location. I would call myself an “accidental entrepreneur”. I had been working at a national management consulting firm supporting nonprofits and foundations and I decided to move to give a long-distance relationship a chance. A bold move but I knew in my heart, it was the right decision for my overall happiness. When the firm said that they weren’t interested in keeping me on, based in a different location, I made what I thought at the time was the most rational decision. Keep doing what I was doing under my own shingle. And Vista Global was launched. I was fortunate to have had the experience growing up in a family business, understanding what is required to keep operations running smoothly. I also learned a lot by being a Senior Associate in a small firm, learning what is required to bring in business, write proposals, manage projects and keep clients happy. In addition, I possessed the natural talents to get things done! I learned this through taking the CliftonStrengths assessment. The CliftonStrengths assessment has been used by more than 27 million people globally to identify natural talents. It provides a deep understanding of 34 themes of your natural patterns of thinking, feeling and behaving in four domains: Executing: Help you make things happen Influencing: Help you take charge, speak up and make sure others are heard Relationship Building: Help you build strong relationships that hold teams together Strategic Thinking: Help you absorb and analyze information that informs better decisions I took the CliftonStrengths assessment in 2012 and learned that 5 of my top 10 themes were in the Executing domain. How does that relate to being a solopreneur? When you start your own business, you do everything – business development, service delivery, project management, bookkeeping, administration, marketing. Unless you have start-up capital, you are bootstrapping until you can generate enough capital to contract for support services. Understanding where you have natural talents and where you may need additional support is important to set yourself up for success. If you have thought about starting your business and aren’t sure whether it is the right path for you, I would love to connect. After celebrating Vista Global’s 10 year anniversary, I know it was the right path for me. But it isn’t necessarily the right path for everyone. To hear more about my journey as a solopreneur, listen to this episode of Minutes With Mary.
The Great Re-evaluation as an Annual Practice Earlier in my career, prior to starting my own business, I had a fantastic mentor/sponsor, Aaron S. Williams who shared with me his annual year-end practice of reflection to prepare for the next year of career development. He asked himself five questions to help determine if it was time to make a change: Am I learning at my job? Am I making a difference? Do I like the people I work with? Am I having fun? Does this current job continue to contribute to my long-term goals? If the answer to any of these questions was “no”, he knew it was time to make a change. In addition, he shared the practice that you should always be looking for your next opportunity. Not to mean that you shouldn’t be content in your current role but to mean that you never know when your talents could be maximized in a new way. This approach to integrating work into life has stayed with me for more than 20 years. It supported my path to make job changes and career changes. It led me to start my own business and become a certified coach. Arianna Huffington wrote a recent post on Life-Work integration, highlighting that what is really at the heart of the “Great Resignation” is a “Great Re-evaluation”. The pandemic has been a jolt to the previously unquestioned construct of work driving our lives in the United States. We see the negative consequences of this drive to work excessively in poor health indicators, including burnout and mental health crises. Half of the American Workforce report that the pandemic has had a negative impact on their mental health. April is Stress Awareness Month, dedicated to raising awareness of the impact stress has on our lives and ways to manage it. It doesn’t have to be this way. In Europe, there are significant differences in the relationship between work life and personal life. Europeans do not attach their sense of purpose as strongly to work as do Americans and are said to be happier, healthier and more productive. One unexpected result of the pandemic is that it has challenged assumptions about the role work plays in our lives. The pandemic forced us to blur work life and personal life through working from home, which allowed us to see that we could have more flexibility in managing our productivity. It gave us back those hours of commute time to use as we choose. It may have also raised our awareness on how happy we were in our current job because the added stress of the pandemic forced us to pause and re-evaluate all aspects of our lives. As a coach, I support many leaders who are at a crossroad asking themselves, “What next? I know what I am doing right now isn’t right but I don’t know what to do.” Throughout the pandemic, I have supported leaders in their “Great Re-evaluation” to move toward life-work integration. If any of these questions are surfacing right now, you are among millions. Let’s connect to chart a path to life-work integration that allows you to say yes to those five questions! To learn more about the career journey of Aaron S. Williams, check out his recently published book, “A Life UnImagined: The Rewards of Mission-Driven Service in the Peace Corps and Beyond”.
What Can Stop the Great Resignation? Answer: Focus on women-friendly practices and purpose In honor of International Women’s Day on March 8th, I wanted to call attention to the crisis being experienced by women in the workforce as a consequence of the pandemic. Since the pandemic started more than two years ago, we have seen the global workforce change in ways we couldn’t imagine. Many experts believe that hybrid work is here to stay and we have seen the highest resignation numbers in U.S. history. The current workforce wants more than a paycheck. This is as much an economic issue as a social issue. We have been hearing about the Great Resignation but there is little reported on the extreme impact it is having on women. The pandemic has exacerbated existing stressors, as mostly women took on additional childcare and family responsibilities while maintaining full-time work, now working from home. According to the U.S. Labor Department, nationally more than 2.5 million women left the workforce during the first year of the pandemic, compared to 1.8 million men. Women have returned to the workforce at a slower rate than men. According to the Center for American Progress, in an October 2020 report, if moms do not come back into the workforce, it will cost our country $64.5 billion. It doesn’t appear that they are coming back yet, with employment numbers continuing to plummet. In March 2021, according to the U.S. Census Bureau, over 10 million mothers living with their school-age children in the United States were not actively working. In a December 2021 report published by Milwaukee-based Kane Communications Group assessing the state of Working Women in Wisconsin, they found that employers that attract today’s working women offer benefits such as paid parental leave, family-supporting programs and flexible work schedules. Beyond flexibility, 88% of the women polled said they wanted to work for companies that are purpose-driven in addition to producing high-quality products and services. In a December 2021 national report called, Surviving Pandemic Motherhood there were five key recommendations that employers can do to attract and retain working moms. What must employers do to stop this workforce crisis? Provide increased opportunities for remote work and flexible schedules Create workplace culture that supports working parents Offer childcare subsidies and/or work-based childcare solutions Provide resources to support mental health Ensure equitable opportunities for advancement combat workforce discrimination against mothers What is your company doing to create an organizational culture that supports working women? We can and must turn the Great Resignation into the Great Transformation of the workplace.
Black History Month: The Daily-ness of Practicing Anti-Racism Pictured: bell hooks and john.a.powell at the Othering & Belonging Conference in April 2015 February is Black History Month which as stated on the Black History Month website, pays tribute to the generations of African Americans who struggled with adversity to achieve full citizenship in American society. That struggle continues today. Recently, I watched the Keynote Dialogue of bell hooks and john.a.powell at the Othering & Belonging Conference in April 2015. bell died suddenly on December 15, 2021, however she is heralded as one of the preeminent feminist voices of our time. Her call to dismantle “imperialist-white-supremacist-capitalist-patriarchy” is through a path of love and the willingness to embrace all the conditions of the world starting with water and climate justice. Throughout the conversation, bell and john touched on many concepts related to activism, belonging, feminism, climate justice and anti-racism. Several themes stayed with me as a white woman committed to dismantling “imperialist-white-supremacist-patriarchy”. bell started with love, “if you have love, you have belonging” and with belonging it prepares you to live well and die well. Before we are able to love, we need to heal the trauma that we all experience and that starts with family. To do the work of dismantling systems with others, we have to be in good spirit within ourselves. bell challenged us to do the work! Asking, “what are you doing in your daily-ness of life in service of anti-racism?” In this month of paying tribute to African Americans, join me in a commitment of daily action in service of anti-racism. You can start with healing trauma within your family through daily acts of caring, compassion and loving kindness. Or, explore 15 tools for White Anti-Racist action. bell reminded us that humor has to be part of this revolution! Thank you bell for your life’s work in daring us to create lives of political and spiritual liberation through healing, radical joy and redemptive love.
How do we unplug when we are always plugged in? Before the pandemic, researchers were already reporting the detrimental effects of extensive screen time. Then life went to another level with video conferencing and zoom fatigue. Now we have reached crisis levels with respect to mental health. We must reclaim time in our days, weeks and year to disconnect from technology to allow our brains, bodies and spirits to refuel. As a consultant who has worked virtually for almost 15 years, I learned early on that I had to establish practices that helped give my brain and body rest on micro, mini and macro levels. Prior to the pandemic, I wrote a blog called Three Steps to Managing Your Energy. I just read it again and it still holds true. However, now I need more of every step to counter the cognitive load of zoom fatigue. Unplug daily: I still charge my phone in the kitchen and don’t look at it until after breakfast. I also block one hour as zoom-free every day and I leave the computer off one day on the weekend. Walk the dog, or just walk: My day starts with a dog walk without technology. It helps me ease into my day slowly and gather my thoughts to start the day. Go to your happy place: As November rolls around every year, I start to feel a deepening need for pausing and recharging. This is something that I have been attentive to for the last five years. In the Midwest, the sun starts to hang lower in the sky and the days get shorter. All of these changes affect my energy level so I intentionally plan a break to spend time in a sunny place for at least a week. I block my calendar a year in advance so the time is protected and usually go to Hawaii to connect with the earth, moon, sun and water. It fills my spirit, mind and body. Generally, I take this time alone to reflect on what I want to celebrate for the year and what intentions I want to set for the coming year. The sun brings warmth to my heart and clarity to my mind. I just returned from Hawaii and was fortunate to be there during the November 18-19 partial lunar eclipse. Being in Hawaii allowed me to watch the entire process of the earth’s shadow falling on the moon. This was the longest lunar eclipse over a 1,200 year period. To witness an astronomical moment such as this gave me pause to evaluate what is important in life. Photo Credit: Mary Stelletello Every day the sun rises Photo Credit: Mary Stelletello And every day the sun sets Photo Credit: Mary Stelletello As humans, we can choose how to honor each day and what mother earth has been offering us for millennia. So when you feel like you can’t unplug, take a breath and think about ways to start your day in a different way. From there, it becomes easier to reduce the amount of time in front of the screen to refuel your energy tank.
Nurture Gratitude If you are a regular subscriber to Vista Global communication, you received the recent blog post titled, What Is Your Life Raft In The Sea Of Pandemic Trauma? In that blog post, I shared the “Tiny Survival Guide” from The Trauma Stewardship Institute which provides 15 ways to build resilience. One of those actions is “Nurture Gratitude”. As we begin the month of November, people in the United States start to look toward the Thanksgiving holiday and what they are grateful for. This practice of nurturing gratitude can be an ongoing simple practice that strengthens our resilience on a daily basis. By asking yourself every day, “What is one thing, right now, that is going well?” AND writing that down or speaking it out loud, starts to shift the mindset that we hold in viewing the world. It builds our capacity to have empathy for others and creativity to identify pathways to a better future. In the “What I’ve Learned” Thrive Global Podcast: Adam Grant on How to Make the Most of Gratitude. Adam shares a powerful insight about gratitude. He states, “My gratitude practice has not been to experience more gratitude – it’s been to express more gratitude.” Find just one reason to be grateful right now. It can be something simple or obvious, but don’t take it for granted. You can say things like, “Thank you for keeping me safe during that accident,” or “Thank you for giving me a roof over my head.” Take a few moments to reflect on the positive portions of your life. Then, write it down or speak your gratitude out loud. Dr. Carmen Harrra, a world-renowned intuitive psychologist shared in 6 Habits for Better Mental Health, “Your mind is the precursor to your reality. Guard it, honor it, and make it a safe haven – this practice will change not only your mental health, but your future.” So how about starting today and continuing every today until the end of 2021? “What is one thing, right now, that is going well?”
