Nurture Gratitude If you are a regular subscriber to Vista Global communication, you received the recent blog post titled, What Is Your Life Raft In The Sea Of Pandemic Trauma? In that blog post, I shared the “Tiny Survival Guide” from The Trauma Stewardship Institute which provides 15 ways to build resilience. One of those actions is “Nurture Gratitude”. As we begin the month of November, people in the United States start to look toward the Thanksgiving holiday and what they are grateful for. This practice of nurturing gratitude can be an ongoing simple practice that strengthens our resilience on a daily basis. By asking yourself every day, “What is one thing, right now, that is going well?” AND writing that down or speaking it out loud, starts to shift the mindset that we hold in viewing the world. It builds our capacity to have empathy for others and creativity to identify pathways to a better future. In the “What I’ve Learned” Thrive Global Podcast: Adam Grant on How to Make the Most of Gratitude. Adam shares a powerful insight about gratitude. He states, “My gratitude practice has not been to experience more gratitude – it’s been to express more gratitude.” Find just one reason to be grateful right now. It can be something simple or obvious, but don’t take it for granted. You can say things like, “Thank you for keeping me safe during that accident,” or “Thank you for giving me a roof over my head.” Take a few moments to reflect on the positive portions of your life. Then, write it down or speak your gratitude out loud. Dr. Carmen Harrra, a world-renowned intuitive psychologist shared in 6 Habits for Better Mental Health, “Your mind is the precursor to your reality. Guard it, honor it, and make it a safe haven – this practice will change not only your mental health, but your future.” So how about starting today and continuing every today until the end of 2021? “What is one thing, right now, that is going well?”
Three Steps to Managing Your Energy This Season As the year winds down and the days shorten, I find that my energy level starts to drop. The “Happy Lamp” that I have on my desk throughout the year is turned on more hours and I recognize that I need to be more mindful and intentional about managing the energy in my personal gas tank. The article written by Tony Schwartz called “Manage Your Energy, Not Your Time” always comes to mind this time of year. No matter how many hours we work, if we have low levels of energy, our productivity will suffer. Schwartz states that energy comes from four major wellsprings in human beings: the body, emotions, mind and spirit. In each of these areas, we can expand and renew energy, if we establish simple rituals that are intentional, scheduled and ultimately become automatic. I have found that I have varying levels of recharging to keep my energy tank full. Some rituals are micro-behaviors, some behaviors are moderate and then there are the deep dive recharging rituals. Here are some rituals that work for me: Disconnect from technology: We live in a connected world and technology is ever present. It is an energy drain so to reduce that drain, I charge my phone in the kitchen overnight and I don’t look at it until after breakfast. It allows me to shut down fully at night and ease into my day. Walk the dog: This is literal and figurative. I have had a dog for decades of my life and it forces me to get away from the computer and get outside for 20 minutes, a couple of times a day. If you don’t have a dog, you can create a meeting appointment called, “Walk the Dog” to get away from the desk. Go to your happy place: This is the deep dive.. Annually (this time of year).. I go to Hawaii for renewal to soak up the sunlight and watch the waves, turtles, dolphins, and rainbows. It reconnects me to the gifts of this planet and fills the wellsprings of mind, body and spirit. As we launch into the next decade, I encourage you to explore new rituals and practice recharging your mind and body. This blog was originally published on Thrive Global December 26, 2019.
Belonging is our birthright: Using Conversational Intelligence® to create radical inclusion Over the last year, I have had an accelerated awakening of how to engage in the dismantling of the inequities in our society. As I write that statement, I feel a great sense of responsibility to move from learning to action. As I mentioned in a recent blog, “How do we actually ‘Be the Change We want to See?’”, I recently completed certification in Conversational Intelligence®. This certification strengthened my understanding of the impact that words have in building or dismantling trust. One aspect of completion of the certification was a capstone project. I challenged myself to explore how to use C-IQ tools and skills in the Equity, Diversity and Inclusion (EDI) context. Many of the C-IQ skills have built my capacity to act when I experience or witness microaggressions. The greatest challenge when experiencing or witnessing a microaggression is to regulate our reaction so that we can educate and raise visibility about bias and move toward establishing equity. Within .07 seconds of being 10 feet of someone(1), our brain is determining if this person is a friend or foe. If there is any indication of how the person looks, acts, speaks that seems unfamiliar, the amygdala in our brain pumps cortisol to protect us and we go to the primitive section of our brain. The primitive brain saved us from the lions when we were in the earliest stages of human development. Cortisol has a shelf-life of 26 hours(2), leaving a lasting impact on our perceptions. This is how bias begins to form. We have the capacity to deprogram and unlearn our bias and Conversational Intelligence® provides these tools by examining the neuroscience and the impact words have on our experience. I recently attended the Racial Justice Summit hosted by the YWCA Madison with more than 800 participants to deepen my learning through workshops and presentations from nationally-known speakers, Climbing PoeTree and Annahid Dashtgard. Climbing PoeTree was a powerful duo sharing spoken word, rap and poetry “as a tool to expose injustice, channel hope into vision and make a better future visible, immediate and irresistible.” Annahid Dashtgard, a Toronto-based educator, led a session highlighting the framework of her recently published book, Breaking The Ocean: A Memoir of Race, Rebellion and Reconciliation. She approaches EDI work from a lens of belonging: “Belonging is our birthright. It straddles the individual and systemic levels of existence, toggling between the psychological truth that we are all the same and the political truth that we are divided by access to power.” Dashtgard believes that we have to regain our wholeness internally before we can work toward changing systems externally. When we experience belonging, we are activating oxytocin and the parasympathetic nervous system which allow us to calm ourselves and shift the external environment. When we feel exclusion, we are in a state of vigilance, activating cortisol and our reactive nervous system. As I processed Dashtgard’s challenge to the conference participants, I could delineate the C-IQ skills that support the process of building bridges of inclusion and belonging: Making the Invisible Visible: Bringing attention to the unseen dynamics and patterns in conversations, and engage in dialogue to shift these patterns. Deconstructing Conversations: Examine what was said, how it was said and the impact it had on the receiver, in relation to the intention of the sender. Co-regulation: Partnering to down-regulate cortisol and fear, and up-regulate oxytocin and trust. This skill builds a foundation of co-creating a new reality. How do we begin? We begin from the basis that we are all the same in wanting to belong. Start with self and understanding: When do I feel like I belong? When do I feel excluded? Once you are able to identify the micro-signals of belonging and exclusion, you are building your social-emotional literacy to give words to your experience. This gives you the ability to use Conversational Intelligence® skills to move from the personal experience to the institutional and systemic levels to reduce the barriers that create inequity. The journey of transformation of our global society requires that each of us individually take steps to restore our individual wholeness and collectively shift the external environment. Together we can co-create a culture of belonging. Together we can co-create a culture of belonging. Let’s connect to chart our path toward this new reality. (1) “Within .07 seconds of being 10 feet of someone, our brain is determining if this person is a friend or foe. ” — Page 103 of Conversational Intelligence by Judith E. Glaser (2) “Cortisol has a shelf-life of 26 hours, leaving a lasting impact on our perceptions.” — Page 104 of Conversational Intelligence by Judith E. Glaser
Designing Your Life is a Team Sport Having played team sports since I was 9 years old, I have built the mindset that to be successful, I can’t do it alone. Although I have built this mindset, I often see with coaching and consulting clients that many people want to do it all on their own. Whether it is because they haven’t built trust with their colleagues or they feel pressure to bear the responsibility, they are driving with no co-pilot. If you haven’t heard this African proverb yet, it speaks to the important lesson that I learned at age 9: As we designed the Vista Leadership Institute Mastermind Program, we built the team into the program DNA. Why? Because life design is a team sport. Designing Your Life proposes that this concept of team-building is a profound and necessary part of any creative act. “Designers believe in radical collaboration because true genius is a collaborative process. We design our lives in collaboration and connection with others, because WE is always stronger than I- it is as simple as that. When you design your life, you are engaging in an act of co-creation.” — Bill Burnett & Dave Evans The Vista Leadership Mastermind Program embraces this “true genius” idea and begins with the formation of your design team. Throughout the 7-month program, you will work in pairs and triads, offering and receiving insight. Your team will help push you, asking “what if?” as you create your action plan for the next chapter of life. You will also have three individual coaching calls with me throughout the program to create an even stronger accountability framework to move along your life’s journey. Because when things get tough, you need someone to have your back, to help you get up when you get knocked down, AND to do flip flops and cheer you on when you hit it out of the park! So if you are at a crossroads, asking yourself “what do I want to do next?” and you don’t know where to start… Join the Vista Leadership Mastermind team. We are saving a spot for you so we can co-create your game plan to hit the next 5 years out of the park! Early bird discount deadline is September 15th. Payment plans are available! (Email for details) Your Mastermind Program Starts Now! Apply Today!
Being More…Doing Less Each year on New Year’s Day we arrive in Oaxaca. 2019 was no different! It is such a wonderful feeling after being on the road for a week to finally get out of the car and breathe in the warm air and soak up the sunshine. Each year on New Year’s Day we arrive in Oaxaca. 2019 was no different! It is such a wonderful feeling after being on the road for a week to finally get out of the car and breathe in the warm air and soak up the sunshine. Continue reading “Being More…Doing Less”
Three Steps to Becoming a B Corp “Best for the World” We are all familiar with the term “Best of”… Each year businesses ask us to vote for them in a specific category, “Best Taco, Best Yoga Studio, Best Chiropractor…” Then a list is published, and it is really more of a popularity contest than a true examination of how that business is the best. We are all familiar with the term “Best of”… Each year businesses ask us to vote for them in a specific category, “Best Taco, Best Yoga Studio, Best Chiropractor…” Then a list is published, and it is really more of a popularity contest than a true examination of how that business is the best. Continue reading “Three Steps to Becoming a B Corp “Best for the World””
