B-ing the Change

February is B-Corp month, a time to recognize those for-profit businesses using the power of the marketplace to help solve social and environmental problems. I am proud that my company is one of more than 2,400 Certified B Corps from 50 countries and over 130 industries working together toward one unifying goal: to redefine success in business. But while we share a certification and a goal, the inspiration that led us to “B-ing the Change” is as individual as we are. Here is my story. Continue reading “B-ing the Change”

Developing the “I inside the We”

This is the sixth in a blog series on the course I am taking on Conversational Intelligence by Judith E. Glaser.

The sixth module, “Expressing Conversations,” guides us to develop the space for healthy conversation to emerge, for individuals to have a voice that can create collective next-generation thinking.   Continue reading “Developing the “I inside the We””

Which Brain is Driving your Conversation?

In July 2017, Judith Glaser’s seven-month Conversational Intelligence program culminated with an in-person graduation event in New York City. Vista Global Coaching & Consulting joined over 200 coaches in New York plus hundreds of other participants live-streaming from across the globe. Continue reading “Which Brain is Driving your Conversation?”

Upcoming Workshop: Tools for Courageous Conversations

Do you work with someone whose conversational style is “Tell, Sell, and Yell” and sometimes struggle to feel heard? Join Mary Stelletello and the Madison chapter of the Ellevate Network on November 8, 2017, at 5:30 P.M. for a 90-minute workshop at the Stamm House in Middleton, Wisconsin.

Mary Stelletello leads a workshop at the 2016 Vista Leadership Academy retreat. Photo: M. Stelletello

Learn trust-building techniques to improve your conversational intelligence (C-IQ) and best practices heralded by Ellevate Network Founder Sallie Krawcheck. In this workshop, we will talk through the conversation styles designed to teach how to move a conversation from “Me to We” using tools like the C-IQ Conversation Dashboard.

Explore Courageous Conversations

We will also explore Krawcheck’s book “Own It: The Power of Women at Work” and concepts for having “Courageous Conversations.” Whether the conversation is about gender equity, company culture, bias around work assignments, or “man-terrupting”, Sallie believes there is an urgency for all women to engage in courageous conversations.

“We all have the power to bring about change, individually and collectively, and the way we do that is by each of us starting conversations in our own workplaces.

 

I also firmly believe that owning these conversations can also position each of us as true leaders, for taking a principled and educated stance on what is clearly “the right side of history.”

Source: Krawcheck, Sallie. Own It: The Power of Women at Work (p. 144-146). The Crown Publishing Group.

Workshop goals and learning objectives include:

  1. Gain increased awareness of your personal conversational style and its impact on others
  2. Learn techniques to engage in courageous conversations
  3. Increase ability to access empathy, foster shared decision-making, and connect with others more deeply

Interested? Get your tickets today! The workshop is $10.00 for Ellevate Network members and $15.00 for non-members.

Can’t make it to this workshop? Contact Mary to learn about a custom workshop for your team or organization.

Asking Questions For Which You Have No Answers

“Conversational rituals allow us to build common language, definitions and meanings that in turn create community. They influence our behavior at the neurochemical level.” Judith Glaser

To uncover “conversational blind spots” you have to become mindful of when you are making assumptions, interpreting incorrectly, and jumping to conclusions.

This begins with asking the right kind of open-ended questions.  Questions that open our minds to explore new avenues of thought with each other. Questions for which we have no answers.

In Conversational Intelligence, Judith Glaser explains there are three levels of conversation.  Level 1 is a basic “Tell/Ask” interaction. It is directive with no open-ended exploration.  Level 2 is more provocative and the interaction is labeled “Advocate/Inquire.”  Referred to as “Share/Discover,” Level 3 is the most dynamic and exploratory interaction.

People Sitting with Question Marks

The example below illustrates how questions from the 3 levels result in different experiences.

Level 1:

  • “Do you mind including this brochure in the donor information packet?”

You ask a question that you don’t have an answer to but it is really a statement in disguise.  This is “tell/ask” interaction to exchange information.  There isn’t much trust.  By asking the question this way, you are attempting to validate your own view of reality.

Level 2:

  • “I really love the brochure. It has all the compelling elements for donors. What do you think? Is there anything stopping you from getting on board with this?”

This exchange is dominated by “advocate/inquire” dynamics. You are advocating for what you want (not just telling). You are inquiring about the other person’s beliefs in an effort to persuade them. Trust is conditional.

Level 3:

  • “Which of these pieces of collateral do you think will be the most compelling for this donor? Are there any concerns we should talk through before making a decision?”

This conversation is marked by “share/discover” dynamics.  By asking in this way, you are sharing that you’re open to being influenced and that you care about your colleague’s thoughts. This signals to the listener that they can offer ideas and you both influence the decision that achieves greater shared success.

Learning to ask an open-ended question for which you have no answer strengthens your ability to have meaningful conversations that lead to transformational results.

Stay tuned for more C-IQ tips!  This is part of a blog series on Conversational Intelligence course by Judith E. Glaser. Check out related blogs such as “Listening to Connect” and “What We Can Learn from our Worst Conversations.”

 

Photo credit: Rawpixel.com via Shutterstock