What We Can Learn from Our Worst Conversations

Judith Glaser’s 7-month course on Conversational Intelligence offers new and improved methodologies for effective communication that you can apply to both work and life situations. “Conversations are the social rituals that hold us together, the fabric of culture and society.” — Judith E. Glaser The course section on “Humanizing Conversations” explores how to down-regulate the … Continue reading “What We Can Learn from Our Worst Conversations”

Judith Glaser’s 7-month course on Conversational Intelligence offers new and improved methodologies for effective communication that you can apply to both work and life situations.

“Conversations are the social rituals that hold us together, the fabric of culture and society.”
— Judith E. Glaser

The course section on “Humanizing Conversations” explores how to down-regulate the behaviors that create distrust and up-regulate behaviors that build trust. No matter what we do in our professional lives, trust is the most important element in achieving extraordinary results. Trust is something that I have explored over the last 15 years through leadership development work. I always believed that listening was the most powerful skill to build trust.

Humanizing Conversations
Conversational Intelligence takes the skill of listening, a step further by providing more texture to “listening.”  Glaser uses the concept, “deconstructing conversation” which looks back to look forward. Examine a conversation after the fact to garner new insights. In the first few moments of contact in a conversation, our brain will determine whether to trust the other person. If that impact “feels good,” we will move in the direction of opening up to more interactions. If that impact “feels bad,” we will close down and move into protective mode.

In the deconstruction process, here are a few questions for exploration and learning.

  • Was either person addicted to being right?
  • Did you experience the “Tell-Sell-Yell” syndrome? (Tell them once, try to sell them why you are right, then yell!)
  • Did you ask questions that you already knew the answers to?

If you said YES to any of these questions, you were operating from the primitive brain (amygdala) pumping cortisol, keeping you in a protected distrust state.

So how do you shift from this part of the brain that is being triggered by threatening behaviors? The very first step is to recognize the neurological response and find ways to head off the fears. Understand where the fears may be coming from, work backward to find a solution.

How do we sideline these signals from the amygdala?

  • Notice how we react to threats (fight, flight, freeze, appease)
  • Acknowledge this reaction
  • Notice if we always choose the same reaction and how much the threat impacts us
  • Choose an alternative way to react in the moment (mindfulness techniques: breath in, breath out, express how you are feeling)
  •  Become more aware of our responses and realize we can override our emotions and shift to other responses
  • Ultimately transform fear into trust

Stay tuned for more tips to have meaningful conversations that transform leaders and organizations!

This is the second in a blog series. Read the first blog at “Listening to Connect.”

 

Photo credit: Rawpixel via Shutterstock.

Listening to Connect: Neuroscience, Coaching, and Conversational Intelligence

As a credentialed coach, it’s important to stay educated on new and improved methodologies that resonate with clients. Recently, I began a 7-month course on Conversational Intelligence, (also known as C-IQ) facilitated by Judith E. Glaser. The curriculum explores how parts of the brain influence the outcome of conversations. Just two weeks in, I can … Continue reading “Listening to Connect: Neuroscience, Coaching, and Conversational Intelligence”

As a credentialed coach, it’s important to stay educated on new and improved methodologies that resonate with clients. Recently, I began a 7-month course on Conversational Intelligence, (also known as C-IQ) facilitated by Judith E. Glaser.

The curriculum explores how parts of the brain influence the outcome of conversations. Just two weeks in, I can already tell how valuable this will be for my clients.  As a coach, I recognize that if clients are in fight/flight mode, it is very difficult for them to find solutions to any problems. Now I have language and context for why.

Harnessing Your Executive Brain

When we are in flight/flight mode, we are operating from our primitive brain, generating cortisol that shuts down our ability to be creative, strategic and engaged. So where do we want to operate from and how do we get there?

The prefrontal cortex (the area of the third eye) is called the executive brain. If an interaction feels safe, we produce oxytocin, which allows us to relax and create a state of trust. This gives us access to empathy, strategic thinking and innovation. When we are able to operate from this place in the brain, we begin to see opportunities for co-creating solutions together.

Listening to Connect

We move from protecting our own self-interest to creating a “WE-centric” way. The first step is: listen to connect. This is not a concept gaining traction just in the coaching field. There has been research published in Harvard Business Review on the power of connecting first.

In Judith’s words, “Everything happens through conversation. Coaches hold the key for transformation of humanity.”

Helping You Get to the Next Level

As we move through the modules, I will share some key “ah-has” and will incorporate these tools into my new coaching offerings that will roll out in Spring 2017. Stay tuned for more tips to have meaningful conversations that transform leaders and organizations.

Interested in coaching? Learn about the coaching process and more!

 

Photo credit: Rawpixel via Shutterstock.

Nonprofits on the Move with Mergers

Too often discussions around nonprofit partnerships and mergers focus on the financial drivers. For example, one nonprofit may be in crisis and rather than shutter operations, it seeks to form a new organizational structure with another, more financially robust organization. But there is another important reason nonprofit leaders should consider exploring partnerships: mission impact. This … Continue reading “Nonprofits on the Move with Mergers”

Too often discussions around nonprofit partnerships and mergers focus on the financial drivers. For example, one nonprofit may be in crisis and rather than shutter operations, it seeks to form a new organizational structure with another, more financially robust organization.

But there is another important reason nonprofit leaders should consider exploring partnerships: mission impact. This plays out in a variety of ways.  If you are successful in achieving your mission, then it stands to reason that over time, your mission may need to evolve. Or perhaps your client population has shifted dramatically with the region’s changing demographics? Or better still, what if the social problem your organization originally formed to address dramatically improved or changed?

Lessons from San Francisco and Beyond

Such pivots are currently apparent in the nonprofit subsector of HIV/AIDS-related services. Many nonprofits, founded 30 years ago, focused on an acute public health crisis impacting a smaller demographic segment of the population. But over the decades, as new drug treatment modalities became available and as the disease spread across other demographic segments, the service models and organizations had to adapt to the chronic, long-term needs associated with supporting HIV positive clients.

This summer, the San Francisco Chronicle and Nonprofit Quarterly reported how “Clients have gone from young men who were dying at 25 to older patients who, at 55, are still living. Currently, more than half of the people with HIV in San Francisco are 50 or older. Improved safer sex practices and advances in drug therapies and medical treatments have shrunk the client base dramatically; some agencies serve half the number they did in the mid-1990s.”

These trends have led some nonprofits to shift focus. For example, food services for clients have evolved to serve healthier food for those also living with diabetes and heart disease. Other nonprofits have merged together to provide a range of services around housing, mental health, or substance abuse prevention, in addition to HIV/AIDS-related support.

The need for HIV/AIDS nonprofits to refocus their operations has not been limited to the San Francisco Bay Area. New partnership models, collaborations, and mergers have taken place throughout the U.S. For example, Vista Global supported the cultural integration process for the merger of the AIDS Network and AIDS Resource Center of Wisconsin.

Photo: AIDS Resource Center of Wisconsin (ARCW). Grand Opening of new Medical Home. June, 2016.
Photo: AIDS Resource Center of Wisconsin (ARCW). Grand Opening of new Medical Home. June, 2016.

Exploring the Implications for Other Sectors

The rapid changes in the HIV/AIDS-related space offer lessons that can be applied across sectors. For example, to survive the wake of the Great Recession, arts nonprofits explored a range of collaborations.  City government agencies are considering mergers as well, as highlighted by the recent merger of the offices of Homelessness and Welfare for New York City.

With the fallout from the U.S. housing crisis, social service nonprofits also have to pivot as the face of the homeless population changes. Currently, Vista Global is working with four nonprofits serving the homeless population to explore program collaboration and merger options.

Are the leaders of your nonprofit considering a program collaboration or merger? Share your story in the comments section below or contact Mary today to learn more.

Be a coach, not a boss.

Are you struggling to motivate your team or cohort of grantees? Do employees at your organization complain of an “us vs. them” management atmosphere? Do your company’s entry-level positions, most often staffed by young Millennials, turnover often? As a leader, you need to rely on principles that get the most out of each member of … Continue reading “Be a coach, not a boss.”

Are you struggling to motivate your team or cohort of grantees? Do employees at your organization complain of an “us vs. them” management atmosphere? Do your company’s entry-level positions, most often staffed by young Millennials, turnover often?

As a leader, you need to rely on principles that get the most out of each member of your team. So stop being their boss and start being their coach. From the perspective of a coach, you can create a dream team with positive lasting impact.

VGCC-coachboss

Play to Strengths

Don’t focus on managing down. Instead, as a coach, spot each team members’ strengths, see how those strengths complement the strengths of other staff, and play to those combined strengths for shared success. Tom Rath, author of StrengthsFinder, writes “People have several times more potential for growth when they invest energy in developing their strengths instead of correcting their deficiencies.”

Calling the Next Generation off the Bench

As a new generation enters the workforce, leading as a coach has never been more important. Recent Gallup research shows that Millennials are seeking fulfillment in work over faith or family. In fact, young workers place more value on opportunities to learn and grow over income. To avoid younger staff leaving or checking out, coach and guide them to find passion in their work.

Where to Start

Ready to lead as your organization’s inspirational coach but don’t know where to begin? Take the first step by learning more about your teams’ strengths. Vista Global offers StrengthsFinder coaching designed for teams who are looking to build on each other’s skills. Contact Mary today and begin your journey from boss to coach.

Image source: Partial infographic excerpt from “The difference between a boss and a leader” by J. Shriar, Officevibe.com

Culture First: Tips on Nonprofit Merger Success through Organizational Cultural Integration

Too often people think of nonprofit mergers as a frantic survival strategy for organizations in a state of financial crisis. However, robust nonprofit organizations are using a range of partnership, consolidation and strategic alliance models not to survive, but to thrive. In early 2015, AIDS Network and AIDS Resource Center of Wisconsin (ARCW) announced their merger, supported by a grant from the AIDS … Continue reading “Culture First: Tips on Nonprofit Merger Success through Organizational Cultural Integration”

Too often people think of nonprofit mergers as a frantic survival strategy for organizations in a state of financial crisis. However, robust nonprofit organizations are using a range of partnership, consolidation and strategic alliance models not to survive, but to thrive.

MergerStrongerOrg

In early 2015, AIDS Network and AIDS Resource Center of Wisconsin (ARCW) announced their merger, supported by a grant from the AIDS United Sector Transformation Initiative. The organizations were not in crisis. The merger goal was to combine two strong organizations and expand services to patients and clients.

“Wisconsin has always been a national leader in the fight against AIDS. Our merger will enhance this leadership position. By combining the best of our two organizations, we will enhance services, improve clinical outcomes, and generate new financial resources, all of which are critical as we continue on our quest for a world without AIDS.”

– ARCW President & Chief Executive Officer Michael Gifford.

Some Merger Integration Do’s and Don’ts

Vista Global Coaching & Consulting facilitated the negotiations and the organizational integration for AIDS Network and ARCW.  The continuity of consulting support over the course of both phases expedited the entire process. The timeframe from the initial conversation of the negotiation team to the celebration of the merger integration process was 18 months.  Although the process was efficient, it was not without intention and focus.

Don’t Ignore Culture in the Negotiation Phase

Honor important cultural elements of pre-merger organizations. Surface and address historical challenges in relationships between organizations to move forward in creating a new narrative. Sensitivity to power imbalances and strategies to mitigate those imbalances from the beginning of negotiations, sends the clear message to staff of both organizations that we are in this together to create a stronger organization that will better serve clients.

It is important to build relationships among the negotiation team members and develop a shared vision. Crafting ‘Strategic Intent Statements’ supports transparency and documents a process rooted in good faith which allows the group to point to that shared intent when there are bumps along the way.

Do Make Culture the First Priority in Integration

It is easy to launch into the systems and structural integration elements of combining two organizations but there is great risk in not putting emphasis on culture as the first priority.  Without this focus, it is easy for staff to stay locked in the pre-merger cultures and fall into “us v. them” perspectives.  Building an integrated culture is critical for long-term success.  Cultural integration requires intention, structure and tools to support the transformation.

To begin a cultural integration process, it can be helpful to use an assessment tool that provides an objective framework of the cultures of the combining organizations. In the AIDS Network-ARCW integration process, we used the Organizational Culture Assessment Inventory (OCAI). The tool allowed the merger integration team to look at the existing cultures and determine the preferred culture moving forward.  Identifying the vision of the preferred culture and the behaviors and beliefs that align with that preferred culture sets the course for “being the change we want to see” in the new organization.

Leadership Takeaways and the Return on Investment

Leaders need to understand when it is important to push for rapid changes and when it is more important to pause, listen, and allow members of the organization time to process. In the integration phase, building a “guiding coalition” of staff from all levels of both pre-merger organizations is a critical success factor.  The ARCW Merger Integration Team had 14 staff members.  These individuals became the change agents as the structural integration process began.  Eight work groups were established that included approximately 50% of all employees.  Even though ARCW is a statewide organization with 10 offices, every staff member was engaged in the integration process.

Strong nonprofits considering merger will be most successful if they go beyond just negotiations and invest financial resources, time, and staff in the integration process. Invest in a structure of internal leadership combined with external consultant support. Create early wins before and after the merger to maintain the momentum necessary to build a new organization.

Organizational culture can be abstract or intangible. A nonprofit’s culture is the sum of many parts. For a successful cultural integration, leaders need to acknowledge the value of each part.  The successful AIDS Network and ARCW merger integration is proof that cultural integration is possible when leaders invest in the process.

What is your experience in cultural integration?  We would love to learn more from you about this critical success factor. Contact Mary today!

The Impact of Our Cultural Identity as Professional Coaches

It’s not surprising that the results of the 2016 International Coach Federation NPO-NGO Community of Practice survey found cultural competency was a high priority area of interest. What is cultural competency? Culture is an abstract concept that can be hard for us to define. Therefore, there is no one set definition for cultural competency. The seminal work of … Continue reading “The Impact of Our Cultural Identity as Professional Coaches”

It’s not surprising that the results of the 2016 International Coach Federation NPO-NGO Community of Practice survey found cultural competency was a high priority area of interest.

What is cultural competency?

Culture is an abstract concept that can be hard for us to define. Therefore, there is no one set definition for cultural competency. The seminal work of Georgetown University Social Scientists Cross et al in 1989 offered a definition of cultural competence that is still in use today:

Cultural competence is a set of congruent behaviors, attitudes, and policies that come together in a system, agency or among professionals and enable that system, agency or those professions to work effectively in cross-cultural situations.

Culture is a set of shared understandings, thoughts, actions, customs, values and so on. Competence is used to imply a capacity to function effectively with others who may not share the same culture. While you may not use cardamom in your family’s traditional recipes, you understand and respect that other people do.

How many spices can you name?

Why does it matter?

Our local communities are becoming more diverse and globally connected through technology and demographic changes. Organizations are “internationalizing” – employees are geographically dispersed, from different countries, and different cultures. The workplace requires individuals to be aware of different cultures, to interact with people from different cultures, and to interpret new cultures as they are encountered.

By 2050, the United States will consist of a majority minority population.  This means that today’s minority groups, as defined by the U.S. Census Bureau as those of any race other than non-Hispanic, single-race whites, who currently account for only a third of the U.S.’s current population, are expected to increase to 54% of the U.S. population within a generation. As the U.S.’s cultural diversity increases, so will the need for our cultural competence.

These changing workforce and societal demographics are revolutionizing the learning demands for leaders today.

What’s the impact for coaching?

As professional coaches, a critical component of success is that we acknowledge the impact of our cultural identity as well as the cultural identity of our client.

Cultural competence is essential for success. With these changing cultural and demographic trends, how do coaches need to be culturally competent to support today’s leaders? How do we understand our cultural identity as coaches and how does that influence the way we support our clients in designing actions?

Where to start?

Begin by examining your individual cultural identity. By understanding your own cultural identity through self-reflection you are more prepared for the cross-cultural learning process. For example, if your cultural identity is American then you are more likely to place a high value on time as a concept and as a commodity.  Americans do battle with time.  We talk about saving time and beating the clock. Whereas other cultures have a more relaxed view of time.

Professor Geert Hofstede conducted one of the most comprehensive studies of how values in the workplace are influenced by culture.  He identified six dimensions of culture and has plotted the relative comparison of 76 different countries. You can select two countries and compare the dimensions of power, individualism, long-term orientation, etc.

Want to improve your cultural competence?

Vista Global Coaching & Consulting also provides custom trainings and workshops on cultural competence. Or if you’re looking for an opportunity to explore cross-cultural leadership, check out the Vista Leadership Academy.  Currently accepting applications until June 1, 2016,  Vista Leadership Academy is the only cross-cultural, multi-generational leadership development experience that combines a virtual classroom model with a transformative leadership journey in Oaxaca, Mexico. Learn more about the Academy’s Program…